A journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single sneeze
It started with the sneeze.
Wablooochuuu!I felt the cool, wet, sprinkles of mucous hit my face. Continue Reading
What the heck is that?
What the heck is that?
You may be wondering why our logo is a critter with ears large enough to make Mickey Mouse jealous.
Continue ReadingAdventure Preparation: Planning Sessions
Boy, going on an adventure is great. Going on an adventure 6 months from now makes the present tedious. But it is okay, we have a lot of work to do, what with making the website, choosing and buying a car from across the sea, and getting visas from caustic and bureaucratic countries that require all sorts of forms and invitations.
Continue ReadingThe Hawaiian Fiasco
Hi friends!
I'm excitedly writing to you from an iPad. Dont worry, I haven't sold out. This iPad belongs to Roberta. Her dad gave it her because in Seattle society it reflects poorly on you if your only daughter is the only one at the coffee shop without an Apple product.
Continue ReadingHawaiian Wonder Blunder
We arrived at our plane just as it finished boarding. We trundled to the rear of the plane past row after row of infants (fact: people who sit near the back of the plane, and in an emergency exit row seat, are far more likely to survive a crash. Sitting next to an infant doesn't improve your chances, and in fact increase the chance you will die whether or not the plane crashes).
Continue ReadingAdventure Planning, Blog 3 (Part 2 of 2): Getting Stuff Done
After committing Kombucha, it was time to get stuff done. First order of business was to find which countries for which we would need Visas.
"We only need to buy two visas ahead of time." I told Hans.
Continue ReadingAdventure Planning, Blog 2: Rain, Coffee, and a Purse
“Let's meet at Stumptown for coffee this time.” Hans said when planning our eighth adventure planning session.
The reason for this location is not that Stumptown has overrated coffee and lots of apple computers. The reason is because Hans' motorcycle is broken, the battery is dead, the license plate tabs are expired, and he has yet to get a Washington drivers license. Therefore, Stumptown, being within walking distance of his apartment is quite convenient.
Continue ReadingHow to choose a car for the Mongol Rally
How does one choose a car to cross the Eurasian continent?
Here are the five core rules to finding an adequate set of wheels.
Continue ReadingFiat Update...
A gentleman at work got really excited when I told him we were taking a Fiat to Mongolia. He didn't think we would have any problems because Fiat used to make tanks in Europe. He told me to look up the Fiat 3000.
This is what I found: Continue Reading
Clandestine Operations
It was a dark night as I walked down an empty street in north Greenlake. I'd never been in the neighborhood and wasn't sure where I would meet my contact. Ended up he was waiting on the corner of 56th and Latona, leaning casually against a burnt out lamppost. "Do you have the goods?" He asked. Continue Reading
Adventure Planning, Blog 3 (Part 1 of 2): Kombucha
Definition:
Kombucha (käm-ˈbü-chə): A culture of bacteria belonging to the Acetobacter genus (acetic acid bacteria) added to at least one species of yeast and forming a thick gelatinous film called a zoogleal mat. Continue Reading
Meanwhile, in Seattle
While the team captain and his newly-minted wife honeymooned in Hawaii, the intern (that's me) remained in Seattle. Shane had left me with two passports, four visa applications, and one goal: send all the paperwork for our visas to London.
What could possibly go wrong?
Continue ReadingThree strikes and you're out... of the water
I'm going to take a moment to skip ahead in our adventures. We will get back to stories about finding our quaint lodge by the sea, underground mole-people, and vampire oil paintings.
But for now, I would like you to know there is some friction between the members of team Gobi or Home. In particular between me, Shane, and our team captain Hans who isn't even in Hawaii with me.
Continue ReadingTrying to downgrade
In order to practice for the Mongol rally we decided to rent a tiny car for the duration of our stay in Hawaii. Unfortunately for our plans and unbeknownst to Roberta I found a coupon online that allowed me to rent a mid size SUV for half the price of any other vehicle on the island.
Arriving at hertz car rentals we were asked if we wanted to upgrade. "I didn't know you rented Hummers."
Continue ReadingA quaint home by the sea
With the King Kamehameha (Hawaii's Greatest King and the new name of our SUV) loaded with our two small carry on bags, we set off for our hotel on the sea.
Roberta was looking at the reservations I had printed out, "We're staying at the Hilton?
Continue ReadingEmail Notifications!
Hello lovely blog followers! If you are interested in receiving a direct email notification when a new blog is posted please send your e-mail address to rettel97@gmail.com with the subject line "Gobi Friend"
Continue ReadingComparing Sizes
The sun was setting as team Gobi or Go Home sat around drinking Seattle's finest espresso at Vivace on Capitol Hill. They were getting ready to close, and Shane and Roberta were getting antsy about going to work.
Continue ReadingComparing Sizes (Continued)
Hans doesn't have much confidence in our car.
That's okay, our car isn't large enough for extraneous things like 'confidence'.
Continue ReadingPoaching Pandas
My mother cares for me. Deeply.
Therefore, she is quite concerned that I haven’t taken the time to get my Dodge Intrepid and its rebellious transmission fixed.
Continue ReadingTake me out to the black
Gobi or Go Home: Donation Blog
Trouble with Sea Creatures at Sea Tac Airport
Roberta got stopped at the security security checkpoint.
She didn't look suspicious. Or she didn't until he asked her to open her bag. She glanced over her shoulder to see if I was paying attention.
Continue ReadingSleeping Bags, Tents, and Galactic Domination
Last night I sat playing a video game called Mass Effect 3, perhaps one of the most immersive virtual worlds I have ever experienced. Have you ever wished that you could watch a movie multiple times and the outcomes and character development would change, then you would love playing Mass Effect. If the idea of watching a movie and then not being able to proceed halfway through because you weren't good enough, then you would NOT love playing Mass Effect. Kind of rude to think that when you buy a video game you own the content but can’t access it unless you work at it, unlike a movie or a book.
Continue ReadingIcelandic Game
In Iceland, the best way to convert prices to US Dollars is to take off the last two numbers. With the price you have left pretend you are at a 25% off sale and you will know the dollar cost of your goods. Easy.
Wrong.
Continue ReadingDear Reykjavik
Dear Reykjavik,
It is the duty of travelers to examine the country and cities they are visiting for faults. The British and French are quite good at using their keen eyes and cultural superiority to evaluate other countries.*
Continue ReadingFool Me Once, Fool Me Twice
Reporting from a curry shop somewhere in West Yorkshire. Probably, Sheffield, Wellerton, or Halifax. It is getting towards sunset. You might think we are worried. "Have they booked a room for the dark English night?", you must be thinking with worry.
Continue ReadingLondon Calling: Crossing the Border
"What is the nature of your visit, sir?"
The passport control had a friendly English accent. The type that required a candid answer. "I'm doing the Mongol Rally," I blurted out, before I had time to remember the traveler's mantra of only using one-word answers with border guards. "Pleasure."
Continue ReadingWhere in the World?
Huh? What?
It has come to my attention that our dear readers may be confused as to why team Gobi or Go Home is split between two islands in the Atlantic ocean.
Continue ReadingProblems with Communiglabloblar...
the World's Best Tea
My tuxedo lay crumpled in a corner of my tent, a silk ascot thrown to one side. Outside the tent, which had gotten quiet barely five hours before came alive with music and voices.
The launch party was over, but the effects of the night continued to plague the camp.
Continue ReadingWestman Islands (Part 1)
Note:This is part one of a three part blog arc. Make sure to start here!
Three years ago I was in Iceland. At that time I had escaped with the only one brave enough to go with me at the time. My mom.
Continue ReadingWestman Islands (Part 2)
Note:This is part one of a two part series, make sure to read them from the beginning of part one.
There might have been some foreshadowing that all was not right. Viking omens and whatnot. For one, we ended up having to leave the rental car behind. Even showing up 3 hours early to an empty ferry station we ended up being 11th on the wait list.
Continue ReadingWestman Island (Part 3)
Note:This is part three of a three part story. Make sure to read them from the beginning of part one!
So the stench.
Continue ReadingUnfinished Business
The Westman Islands, like much of Iceland, has pool centers filled with all manner of hot pools. This is where you can see Icelanders undergo a most significant transformation.
Continue ReadingGhost Center (or How to Lose $200)
Iceland Ghost Horror (or how to lose $200 due to poor decision making)
Much like reality tv we got voted off the island. The rancid waves of stink set forth a parliament meeting in which it was decided that we needed to leave a day early. I grudgingly agreed although I looked back towards, wistful for my own chance to pet the puffin.
Continue ReadingGoogle Map Pics of Westmans
Here are some pics taken from Google Earth of Iceland and the Westman Islands. The last one shows where we hiked, the location of the Eldfell Volcano, and the extent of lava flow from the Eruption in 1973. You can see where it ran over the town in the north and how close it came to closing off the harbor. Enjoy!
Continue ReadingFundraising Game (Win a prize!)
Alright, we have reached our goal and then some. Nonetheless, we are continuing our fundraiser to help our charities even further.
Here is your chance to win a souvenir from our trip by playing "You've got to be kidding Iceland"
Continue ReadingRancid Shark
Forgive me. I wasn't correct when I said everything in Iceland is expensive. In fact, for about $1.50 you can buy all the shark meat you could ever eat and then some.
This shark meat, comes from a Greenland shark that is buried for 9 months until it is rancid, smells like stale urine in sweaty socks, and can be bought at the local flea market on Saturdays.
Continue ReadingLondon Town Navigation
London Town Navigation
Getting off the underground carrying just under a ton in baggage I looked around for the third member of our team. Normally looking for a smug man in a v-neck t-shirt is enough. Unfortunately, there were about 6 such men and wearing tight shorts to boot. "Oh London, as a cultural beacon of humanity you could do better."
Continue ReadingScotland!
Driving in Scotland
I should write a blog about the difficulties of driving on the left side of the road. But I'm rather good at it. Unless you count me drifting towards the far left. Hans spends a good deal of time leaning to the right as we pass by hedges, road barriers, and old ladies and their corgis.
Continue ReadingRomaniacs (Part 1)
*Note: Hans said he would do the blog from Prague to Vienna to Budapest. While we wait with baited breath for the blogs I will carry you into the country of Romania. From The golden hills of Transylvania to the post apocalyptic world of Bucharest and onto the party on the Black Sea.
Continue ReadingNon-sponsors
A great many companies have come together and sponsored Team Gobi or Go Home. Although we laude them on our sponsor page, there is another group of companies that, until now, we haven't really mentioned. These are the companies that we give money to in our quest to drive to Mongolia.
Continue ReadingHey Daddy-O
"I feel like your father," Shane said to Roberta, while the good Doctor Freud punched the air in his grave.
Continue ReadingHardships of Command
Well, I've been set in the back seat. Relegated to ignominious position of rear-seat captain. An employment scarce better than that of the luggage of which I share my space.
Continue ReadingIstanbulieve it or not
Do you know what the difference between Istanbul and Constantinople is?
Constantinople* didn't have a red FIAT Panda covered in rally decals barreling down the cobblestone streets.
Continue ReadingGerman Road Stop, Rally Day 1-2
Rally Day 1 - 2
I've woken at a truck stop in Germany. Hans is asleep next to me in the passenger seat, Roberta in the back. There is enough condensation on the windows to fill a couple German beer steins. You'd like to know how we got here I imagine but it is 530 in the morning so it is going to take me a second myself...
Continue ReadingParty in Darkness
Klenova castle is scary. Built in 1291 it predates the Bodiam Castle by about 100 years but differs in one significant way. While Bodiam was built to protect against French invaders Klenova looks like it was built to protect from Witches, Werewolves, Succubi, and anything else that is haunting the dark gloomy forest just outside the castle walls.
Continue ReadingTwo Romanian Nights
Romania is a gem of Eastern Europe. The countryside is pastoral, the roads winding and epic, the women beautiful, and the beer mostly free. The accommodations are amenable though confusing.
Well. I say accommodations. Team Gobi or Go Home has spent the last couple nights sleeping rough, in a legal grey area. (This should come as no delight our parents, hopefully none of whom read this blog, lest they think all we do is drive around Europe drinking beer and dancing.)
Continue ReadingRomaniacs (Part 2)
Bucharest.
We've already lost Bucharest to the zombie plague. The apartments have been abandoned for months and the sooty buildings stretch on forever. Trash wafts across the road and the sidewalks are roamed by angry hordes of downtrodden beings. Even the nuclear plant at the center of the city is a bit under the weather.
Continue ReadingThe Road Less Travelled
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost -England
Continue ReadingRally, Interrupted
That was quick. A week and a bit into the rally, and we already were ready for a break. Not surprising. Look at the adventure map. Jokers have dropped out. Teams have been torn asunder by police corruption. Handguns have been brandished in Russia, and a couple teams have prudently headed westward, retreating to the basecamp of Europe before making a final push eastwards. Like a climber on Everest, acclimating to the clime.
But we have taken a different tactic. We drove into Turkey and are on our third night in a posh little cave hotel. We are living up to the high standards which British explorers became known for while expanding the Commonwealth.
Continue ReadingLittle Lost Intern
Shane had dodged back to the hotel in Istanbul to put on jeans so he could avoid wearing a scrubs-blue skirt to get into the Blue Mosque. Roberta and I had dressed more appropriately. So, by the time Shane rocked up, we had spent an hour in the mosque, chatting about the nature of free will, looking at the granite columns, and reading the pamphlet on Islam.
When Shane got back, I told my companions I would meet them in the courtyard after they had seen the mosque. What with taking off shoes, seeing the mosque, and putting back on shoes, I figured I had ten minutes to wander.
Continue ReadingBattle Report; Vladikavkaz
Shane Bolinger reporting live from Vladikavkaz, Russia.
After surviving the drive through northern Georgia (The country, not the state; we aren’t that lost) which includes dodging landslides and rockfalls, flooding tunnels, tortuous switchbacks, decayed bridges, border crossing interrogations, and the odd cow in the road, it looks like Team Gobi or Go Home has been killed by Russian hospitality.
Continue ReadingRerouting
This blog tends to be nonchalant about the future. The revelries, action, and chaos of the past and present doesn't leave much time for blogging about the unknown and ethereal future.
However, on occasion the future gives you gives you a gift of foresight, generally in the form of a relativistic turd.
Continue ReadingStuck in a Hole
If you've followed our satellite tracking map, you might have noticed that our last few days have been spent in Cappadocia, the warm heart of Turkey. The decision to stay multiple days in this adventure wonderland, a Dr. Seuss world of ancient cave houses in tall pillars of rock, has put us at the back of the rally pack but at the top of adventure.
While our parents worry that we will run into trouble in the country of Georgia, we have been pinned in tiny holes in the ceilings of thousand year old cave houses as our feet hang below us scrabbling for a purchase in thin air.
Continue ReadingMidnight Train to Georgia
The Mongol Rally is a sampler pack of Eurasia, you get a little flavor of everything. Some things that should impress don't, and some things that weren't expected to impress do.
Georgia is probably the best example.
Continue ReadingGeorgia: The Uncensored Version.
Note: This is Shane's version of the Georgian drive. --- The country of Georgia is known for its wine, epic skiing, and natural landscape.
Actually, that isn't true. Novody knows anything about Georgia. When I was in high school Russia had a military tiff with Georgia that made it to the American news.
Continue ReadingA Night in Victory Mansions
There is good news regarding Russia. Humans have started to repopulate the cities after what appears to have been a zombie outbreak or nuclear blast. We aren't sure the zombie pandemic is completely cured so most of us have cleverly disguised ourselves as the walking dead by drinking bottle after bottle of free vodka the night before.
Continue ReadingSiberia
To appreciate Siberia one need only spend 13 days driving across Kazakhstan. The transition from desert scrublands to mountainy pine forest is quite abrupt. However, it is hardly the first sign that you are in a new, fantastic world. Instead, it is small little things that become quite striking. Not only do you have maintained asphalt, you have painted lines! What extravagance! Stores suddenly have signs! How clever! Street lights turn on at night! Hurray!
The mind is blown little by little.
Continue ReadingKazakhstan: Day 4
I will write about Russia.
A time will come where I will explain the effects of seven bottles of vodka given by a hospitable hotel manager. I will write about pool played with fifteen cue balls, the devastating realities of police stops, and tips on bribing and avoiding traffic officers.
Continue ReadingLord of the Flies
Margaux, one of my TPMs at Amazon has claimed that our blogs can be a bit long and dialogue heavy. She recommends that we do short executive summaries at the top of each post. Let's try this:
Today we were mobbed by a crazed hoard of Kazakhi children.
Continue ReadingAral Sea Wasteland
Escape Velocity
Disclaimer: Hans takes no responsibility for the viewpoints or actions seen in this blog. They are purely written by Shane and do not represent the feelings or opinions of everyone on the team.
---
Continue ReadingThe Convoy Spirit
Sarah, matron of the Dixie Chickens, has many opinions about my team. In particular, about my teammates. She is of he opinion that Shane and Roberta are either imaginary or dead. This opinion likely comes from her never meeting the whole team. Whenever I saw Sarah, at any of the Europe parties, it was after Shane's bedtime. That is, after nine in the pm.
Sarah's other opinion is that we are doing the rally wrong, since the Marabby is normally peaceful and conflict free. The first four weeks of the rally were uneventful and calm. We gently trundled along, white doves cooed in the air, God was in his heaven, and all was right in the world.
Continue ReadingForced Stargazing
Well, it is about 4am in the frigid Mongolian morning and I have attained full adventure. I woke to the sound of my greatest fear, my own stomach gurgling and bubbling with reckless abandon.
Oh please no, I begged the Bowel Gods. Have mercy.
Continue ReadingNo Man's Land
Word spreads fast on the rally. Rumors abound. Teams leave cryptic Facebook posts. Information and misinformation run rampant, and are hard to differentiate.
But, one thing was for sure: 18 teams were waiting at the Mongolian border. Some had been there for three days.
Continue ReadingOur First Born for a new CD
We have traversed a third of the globe, armed only by a dozen CDs. This is the type of feat that would drive weaker men to insanity. Luckily, we have had a wide variety of music to ease the kilometers between London and Ulaanbaatar. Some notable donors, including Roberta's dad and Keenan, have helped entertain us.
So, with our impending arrival in Mongolia's capital city, it is our delight to announce the best and worst CDs of our journey.
Continue ReadingStuck
We had spent the last night in a hotel in a city beginning with 'B'. A lot of southern Mongolian cities do. But this one was a capital city. Bayankonger or something. Perhaps.
In any case. It was a scant six hundred kilometers away from UB and the finish line. We had heard tell that the roads were paved and the driving decent. Of course, after the paved Atyrau to Aktobe hell road in Western Kaz, we knew better than to trust pavement.
Continue ReadingCrashing the Marabby
I don't spend a lot of time blogging out in the Mongolian plains. Most times you will find me grasping my tent and leaning back against the harsh Mongolian winds, trying to keep us both on the ground. At other times you will find me in my tent, iPad at the ready to write a blog only to feel my air mattress deflate plopping me onto the rocky ground. But mostly, you will find me gazing into the distance at a country we have reached after six weeks of hard driving, a year of planning, and a lifetime of yearning.
Continue ReadingKindle Fired
I would like to apologize for the spelling and grammar in some of my previous posts. In a rush to get them up, I didn't proofread them. Later, reading them back to Shane and Roberta, I hung my head in shame.
The Android autocorrect is an interesting beast. It has a limited vocabulary, not recognizing dirty words. 'Piss' and 'pee' are out of its dictionary. However, it corrects 'damn' into 'damnable'. This amuses me to no end, and may influence how I use the term. 'Damnable' does sound cooler.
Continue ReadingParting of the Fellowship
Teams had been rolling into UB for the past several weeks. Mr. Rob, founder of the rally, looked weary of the hotel lobby that he had spent so much time in, listening to the same slow jam versions of already slow rock songs that used to (perhaps still does) plague the office workers at G5. Few people listen to 'Imagine' and think, "You know what this song needs? To be slowed down by a large factor and played just on a piano without vocals." Few think it, but the ones who act on that thought should be shot.
Anyway, music notwithstanding, the lobby of the four-star Chinggis Khan hotel was packed with excitement. Dirt bag adventurers rolled in from the steppe, parking their cars in the VIP slots (which, actually, were reserved for rally cars). Just a few steps away, Mongolian wedding parties, shuffled in and out of the hotel. The backgrounds of their wedding photos will likely be cluttered with broken down Fiat Puntos, piles of used camping gear, and unwashed ralliers.
Continue ReadingRules of the Road
"Bring back the post rally slump. Bring back the post rally slump."
That's what crossed my mind as I was piloted through the streets by Pham, my young AirBnB host. I attempted to look calm and composed on the back of the scooter as we pulled into multiple lanes of oncoming traffic.
Continue ReadingBeyond Baatar (Part 1): Adventure Time?
Note: In this multipart series we take the adventure back into the wilds of Mongolia. Make sure you read them in order so you can appreciate the story properly.
I had the weirdest, little, nagging worry that booking a week in the Mongolian steppes at an adventure lodge might turn out to be boring.
Continue ReadingBeyond Baatar (Part 2): Not Possible!
You might think that my boredom here at the ol' ger camp is of my own failing. You would be wrong.
"I would like to go on a day long camel ride." I told the ger manager.
Continue ReadingBeyond Baatar (Part 5): Mutton Mayhem
Roberta decided it was time to leave the ger camp. She didnt say so exactly but something about the way she wouldn't leave the hard, rickety, double deluxe bed, told me this.
Continue ReadingBeyond Baatar (Part 3): Idea
The yaks are all gone still, presumably having grown extremely bored of the ecolodge. Roberta is desperately trying to revive the iPad on solar energy so that she can finish her book.
Continue ReadingBeyond Baatar (Part 4): Remodel
There aren't many things in this world cozier than a ger. I may have ridiculed ours in a bout of cynicism, but they are quite attractive. Especially, ahem, if you shell out for the double deluxe luxury ger.
Continue ReadingLeaving Saigon
"I'm off on a bike ride, see you in four weeks." Some say that my emails to my mother are on the brief side.
Continue ReadingNeither Rain nor Sleet
Tasks expand to fill the time allotted. Consider writing a letter. A businesswoman, with five minutes for the task, may quickly write out a letter. Her grandpa might, on the other hand, spend the better part of a day writing a letter. Finding glasses, getting the paper, and fussing with the fountain pen all take time.
I wish I could write a letter in a day. Time expands while traveling to such great extents that it takes several days to write a letter.
Continue ReadingIn Over My Head
Note: one third of the Gobis remain abroad. Hans, nit having enough driving on the Mongol Rally has flown to Vietnam and acquired a Honda Win. Currently, he is halfway up the country.
I am incapable of sitting still for more than twelve hours. This is one thing I learned about myself on the Mongol rally. (Don't worry, this post isn't going to be a self-reflective male version of Eat, Pray, Love.) One thing I have also learned is to attempt to be more spontaneous.
Continue ReadingOn the Road Again
"I like it here, and I'm never leaving."
Shane and Roberta heard that phrase often on the rally. Almost as often as "I know exactly where we are!" and "What could go wrong?" I meant it in London and Edinburgh and Istanbul. But I really meant it about Hoi An.
Continue ReadingWelcome to the Jungle (Part I)
"There's some construction on route 49. It is neat to see, but it might slow you down a little bit."
Australians are masters of understatements. That was Deano's assessment of the route from Hue to the windy Ho Chi Minh highway. Technically, he was absolutely correct in his statement. Assuming, that by "some" you are to understand "mind-numbing stretches" and by "slow you down a little" he was insinuating "bring your bike to a similar pace as a baby before it learns to crawl".
Continue ReadingWelcome to the Jungle (Part II)
Waking up in a hammock is perhaps the best way to wake up. You feel wrapped and coddled, ready to wander out and take on whatever the world has to throw at you.
This morning, for example, I awoke deep into a jungle road in Vietnam. 130 kilometers of wild twisties cutting through the densely forested highlands awaited.
Continue ReadingAround the World
Most of the team beat Phineas Fog's time of eighty days. The final teammate crossed into America a few days ago and has touched down at SEA 87 days after flying east towards Iceland and parts beyond.
Team Gobi or Go Home would like to thank the generosity of our donors and sponsors for believing that three people with limited mechanical ability and no wrenches could drive a Fiat to Mongolia.
Continue Reading